I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
