what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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