Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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