I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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