I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
