Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
