I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
