There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
