at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
