Non-Jews are for practice
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
