i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
