Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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