I just saw a hot homeless man
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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