its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
