She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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