last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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