Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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