I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize