Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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