you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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