I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
