if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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