The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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