I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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