i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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