He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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