my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
