You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
