please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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