please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
