im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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