He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
