Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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