we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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