Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
