how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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