I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
