Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
