oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
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