the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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