i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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