VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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