It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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