So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
