and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
