Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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