Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i think i have two assholes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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