First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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