the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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