there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
