So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
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HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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