I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize