She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
