Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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