wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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