Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
