just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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