yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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