Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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