hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
only if we run a train.
done.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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